wow.

Time for an entry i guess. I have realized a lot over this break, and i guess 2009 in general. Life is a series of ups and downs... recently my downs seem like spirals and i dont know how to bring this back to where it should be. With my mothers condition worsening and just the stress of everyday life getting to me, i have hurt some of the people i love. i deeply regret that and ask you all to forgive me. you all know who you are, every one of you. i just need to make the right decision, and help when i can, and for people to help me. i have realized that at this point in my life i need to relax. i got acepted to UT and i need to be excited for that. i need to chose my path now, and wisely. i have so many choices standing infront of me, i just need to pick. some of these paths i have already decided on. some i havnt, and some i need a lot of help. i am facing the hardest year of my life. i still pray, i do. every day. i wish something would happen to show me that this year will get easier... i also hope my graduation is happy. (those of you who know me know exactly what i mean.)


\\\\\points i need to adress/////

also, there are certain people out there who think im too hard, or think they are going through hell. hey, look. i feel for you. i really do. but look around you, we live in a world full of death and destruction. look around you and see all the people crying out in anguish. their tears and prayers seeming worthless. your life is better than theirs.


i hate NO ONE. i make it a point to never hate a single person on this earth. if you think i hate you, you are wrong. i am a very protective person. and with that trait i make enemies. so be it. if i view you as a threat to me or to someone i love, you will see my actions toward you as hatred. what it is, really, is simply taking care of the threat.

and BTW, i would trade some aspects of life with most people in a heartbeat. look at how i live and all that i have done. im sorry for whats happened to you. i really am. but please look at the bright side... yours can still talk...